I usually don't have much use for ESPN.com — it jumped the shark years ago and turned into the Las Vegas of sports web sites. Too many opinions from people whose opinions I don't care to know, too self-promotional, and too many whistles and bells. But this Tour de France photo gallery is amazing.
Anyway, Activeness! has obtained an exclusive transcript of a just-completed interview of humiliated Kazakh rider Alexandre Vinokourov conducted by good friend and fellow Kazakh, Borat.
Borat: Our country send you to France of Tour to make win. Now with blood transfusion you are disgrace by Kazakhstan greatest country in the world. I think you will be execute, pimp. Vino: I still win time trial and Staging 15. I do it for Pamela Andersons and her plastic chests! Borat: Much respecting for CJ. Maybe they just snap off your manhood. Do dopey transfusions also help you make sexy time with Kirsten Gum? Vino: Naughty! Naughty! Please stopping now. Borat: You are representing Kazakhstan not so good, vanilla face. Vino: I am fearing gypsy UCI doping testers seek to destroy glorious Kazakh riders. Borat: Reminding me of that asshole Nursultan Tulyakbay. Vino: Now needing money. Would you be interest in buying my treasures? Borat: I cannot afford more than two dollar for your riding machine. I try to mount goat. Vino: You can using bike to pull plow in wheat fields. I would like to sell you carbon time trial. Borat: Fly-thru seat tube and disc wheel is very, very nice. Very nice! But baby-blue color is popular only with little girls of Uzbekistan. Vino: Like Kloeden. Borat: High-five! What is future? Will you continue go party with Robbie Ventura and prank calls with Floyd? Vino: I try Bull Riding Professional Tour on Versus. Will you singing anthem? I'm now bicycle retired. Borat: You are a retard? Physical or mental? Vino: Thank you for watch my Tour. I hope you like.
Michael Rasmussen certainly has improved as a time trialist. He might as well be wearing a target for the doping officials. He wasn't as strong a couple years ago.
Riding a Mountain Stage of the Tour de France Without Bothering to Really Train
Writer Martin Dugard rode Stage 15, which will take place in the Pyrenees next week, as part of the Tour-sponsored � L'Etape du Tour. More than eleven-and-a-half hours later, Dugard dragged his diaper-rashed butt and rubbery legs across the finish with a new level of awe for the Tour riders. He claims to have trained for the 122-mile journey, which featured five major ascents, with "a single 50-miler" as his long ride. This seems ill-advised, to be nice, and borderline disrespectful of the event, but the dude sure can write. "If someone had walked up and asked if I would liked an injection of EPO, I'd have told him to make it a double."
"Walkers on the trail!" shouted one of the late-sleeping mountain bikers barreling toward us on the hilly single-track.
"Come on, we're runners," I said, as we stepped aside so they could pass. Hammering through mile 12 of a tough 13-mile trail run at 8 AM on a hot day gave me the right. But since I'm half deaf I couldn't hear the MTBer's smart-ass response.
"What'd he say?" I asked FOA A, who was bringing up the flank.
