Anonymous Racer X: 2005 Year-End Look Back

Racer X
.
As we all kick off a fresh 2006 season, I wanted to give my 2005 year in review so those of you not on my holiday card list can update yourselves on my accomplishments and get a sense of the zeitgeist. Here are the month-by-month highlights that made the X-Man frown or smile:

January
On New Year’s day I spent 175 minutes riding the trainer while trying to think of ways to improve myself so I could create a list of resolutions. No luck, but I was pleased with my focused effort and average heart rate.

Race Report — 2005 5K Resolution Run:
I was a couple minutes slower than I’m capable of. I wonder how much faster I could have been if the midnight revelers had not disturbed my slumber? X-Man needs his nine solid hours.

February
I applied to acquire a patent for a new weight-loss drug called “Zappetite.” I’ve since realized I don’t know enough about shepherding a new drug through the research and development process to make this happen on my own, so at this point I’m just trying to sell the name.

March
Jose Canseco, Mark McGwire, and some other baseball players were in the news while in Washington, D.C., testifying about steroids in front of a Senate subcommittee. The X-Man is as clean as a shiny whistle, but I was reminded that my friend, George, used to take steroids even though he didn't work out. He just liked the street cred.

Race Report — 5-Mile St. Patrick’s Day Run:
I was on pace to PR at the St. Patty’s 5-mile run until the 1.2- mile aid station. There I grabbed what I thought was a Green Squall-flavored Powerade. Turns out it was green beer. Does it look like I drink beer? Come on. I was so distraught that I stopped and hailed a cab back to where I had parked the Rover.

April
I’m drawing a blank on most of April. As I recall, I was going through some personal problems as I attempted to resolve a glitch in the pull portion of my front crawl stroke. This repressed memory must be a form of self-preservation.

Race Report — St. Louis Marathon:
Did Not Start (DNS). I was set to PR at the marathon distance, but failed to set my clock forward an hour for daylight savings on the eve of the race. When I got to the race site, everyone was ready to go and I was just picking up my number. Why don’t clocks automatically adjust? Without enough time for the 36-minute pre-race stretching and success visualization routine prescribed by Coach Todd, I didn’t bother.

May
One night in May I was awakened by a disturbing dream that was much worse than my usual race-day flat tire nightmare. I was hammering the White Lake Half Ironman bike course when suddenly the race volunteers handing out water bottles appeared on the left side of the road. Because I am used to holding my bars with my left hand and reaching for the bottle with my right, I momentarily locked up. How would this left-side handoff work? Why hadn't my cycling coach prepared me for this scenario? Frantic thoughts of finishing without hardware raced through my mind. Steady, man! As I approached the unknowing volunteer, I attempted to visualize balancing my rig with my right hand and snagging the agua with my left. For one foolish moment, I even contemplated skipping the water altogether. "No, dude, dehydration is not your friend," I chided myself. In the end, I managed to get the bottle on board, but not before two poseurs on Roos blew by me. Thank God they weren’t in my age group — and that this was just a dream.

June
Race Report — Eagleman Triathlon:
Five minutes before the race gun was scheduled to go off to signify the start of the 2005 Eagleman Triathlon (Half-Ironman distance) in Maryland, I approached the group urinal basin. Suddenly my goggles slipped off my head and plunked down into the urinal. Several fellow competitors groaned in unison. "Bummer, dude!" Bummer, dude? "This is a lifestyle, not a hobby," was my swift and strong response. I plunged my hand into the basin, fished out my soggy race goggles, and trotted to the beach just in time to work my way to the front of the swim pack. Most of the swimmers in my wave swam over the top of me, but those goggles lasted well into the fall.

July
Race Report — Ironman USA:
DNS. Like rancid fried cheese from a strip-mall Pizza Hut, bad karma was just floating in the Lake Placid air. I couldn’t risk it.

August
Race Report — Ironman Korea:
Did Not Finish (DNF) after the swim. I could tell coming out of the water that this wasn’t going to be a Kona-qualifier for the X-Man, so I applied the brakes. There’s no use putting pointless wear and tear on my body — not to mention my Softride, “Bernice.”

September
Race Report — Lake St. Louis Olympic Distance Triathlon:
DNS. Before the race, a newbie pointed out that my bike chain was missing. I simply nodded toward the ground, where my chain sat soaking in a tub of Pedro’s Bio-degreaser, preparing for battle, and asked, “Any more helpful tips?” A short while later, I had to hit the restroom. When I returned, my chain was gone and another competitor simply nodded toward the lake. I suspect that chain found a watery grave, but I can’t prove it.

October
Race Report —Chicago Marathon:
DNF. I was especially disappointed by this result because Tiffani flew in to root me on. She’s a great spectator, supporter, and coach. Plus, she is incredibly hot. But I simply couldn’t overcome the race Gods, who on this day decided to toss me a curveball in the form of a careless spectator. That six-year-old definitely got the worst of our collision. If there’s anything good to come from the whole affair, it’s that I’m sure she’ll be walking again soon — and that she’ll be more careful in the future.

November
Race Report —Ironman Florida:
DNF at the 56-mile point of the ride. I felt relaxed and strong, but a sour Endurox mix and a package of crushed Fig Newtons in my special needs bag were all the convincing I needed that this wasn’t going to be my day. It didn’t help that I heard there would be a stiff headwind in the second half.

December
Distraught by a season of poor race results, I fired my swim coach, bike coach, and running coach. Wilhelmina, my masseuse, stays — for now. Time to blow it all up and right this sinking ship. I realize the key to success is to surround yourself with good people, and I know X-Man’s Success Posse is out there somewhere.

2005 held me down but I won’t be denied in 2006!

Later,
Racer X

Armstrong Wins AP Male Athlete of the Year

Lance Armstrong is the Associated Press Male Athlete of the Year. Armstrong says he's ready to dedicate his time to lobbying for money for cancer research and survivorship programs.

''Cancer and what all can be done there, not just in the world of health care, but if it's education or political, this is a very real issue,'' Armstrong said. ''We're at an interesting time in medical research. That would be a serious rush for me if I could effect change there."

Armstrong points to Bono's lobbying for help for the world's poor and AIDS-stricken as an example of the power celebrity can bring.

SBR St. Louis Perspective

Matt Cazalas over at SwimBikeRunStLouis.com refuses to use the "R" word, but has some great "promises, suggestions, and hopes for 2006." Hard to argue with "no public urination."

Quote of the Day: E.H. Gombrich

"Each one of us is no more than a tiny glimmering thing, a sparkling droplet on the waves of time which flow past beneath us into an unknown, misty future. We leap up, look around us and, before we know it, we vanish again. We can hardly be seen in the great river of time. New drops keep rising to the surface. And what we call our fate is no more than our struggle in that great multitude of droplets in the rise and fall of one wave. But we must make use of that moment. It is worth the effort." - E.H. Gombrich

Activating Two Soccer Pros

Lee Tschantret
It seemed like a normal workday. I was glad to get out of the office with Activeness' John for lunch at Friday's. Our waitress, wearing exactly 14 pieces of "flair" (the minimum), seated us and headed off to see if the tea machine was fixed.

At the table next to us were a couple of veteran pro indoor soccer players from the Baltimore Blast: Lee Tschantret and Danny Kelly, each known for their hustle. Recognizing them from my days as a goalkeeper for the Baltimore Bays, I introduced myself. After a quick recap of who was still playing for the team, Lee offered to leave tickets for the Blast vs. St. Louis Steamers game that night. On the Blast web site, I later read that Lee "is on pace to become the 15th player in League history to record 1,000 points in his career".

For longevity in an underfunded, physically demanding pro sport and the upcoming milestone in your 15th year in the league, Lee Tschantret, you have been Activated!

Jason Kreis
In my years as a competitive soccer player and slightly less competitive triathlete, I've been fortunate to team with or battle against some great athletes.

Before he joined me on the Duke soccer team, I faced Jason Kreis while playing for a North Carolina Select Team that included future pros from UNC and NC State, including eventual National Team player Roy Lassiter. Jason controlled the midfield for Louisiana's team.

Now, after an award-winning college career and 10 years in Major League Soccer (MLS) with Dallas and Salt Lake, he is the all-time leading MLS goal scorer.

For your success and longevity, you have been Activated. For the teammate you were and your work ethic: Activated. Durability and consistency: Activated. For staying at the top of your game over such a long time: Activated. You get the idea.

Off-Season Race Report: Frostbite Series Race #1, 12K (7.44 miles)

Pretty good weather for December brought out the masses for Race #1 in the five-race winter running series. The parking lot overflowed and the registration line stretched out the doors and down the steps of the Forest Park Visitors Center.

The modified two-loop course offered some hills, which my lungs did not appreciate. The first mile seemed OK as I chatted with Roger and kept a good tempo. 6:10 at mile 1—too fast. My lack of recent run training couldn't hide for much longer as the pace gradually slowed. On the plus side, my time was a little faster than last year's. This one really felt like an off-season performance, though.

With holiday activities trumping training and a resulting caloric surplus, it's no surprise. Not to worry. Fitness can't run my life year-round. For now, cheesecake does.

Deactivating the NHL's Gimmicky New Rules

Dino
Originally uploaded by jjactive2.

I feel like I don't even recognize this game anymore.

Three Things About Getting Spit on by an Imprudent Training Partner

1. It sucks.

2. That split second that you’re riding along at 25 mph and you see the spit ahead suspended in the air, as if freed from gravity, actually is pretty cool.

3. It’s your own fault: Being spit upon is not a problem for the lead dog.

We Are What We Eat

"In 2005, Dr. T. Colin Campbell, Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn Jr. and Dr. Neal Barnard — three of the most prominent scientists and doctors at the forefront of researching nutrition — conducted seminars at RunTex. All three had an identical message: eat a plant-based diet that's high in nutrients, whole grains, legumes and fiber, and you'll not only be healthier and live longer, but as a nice side effect, you'll also improve your running endurance."

Read the Austin Statesman article.

Ear Candy

Trainer daze are here, and PEZ wants to know what you're listening to.

Cookie Dough Sport

Active people: Smother your thirst with Cookie Dough Sport. Quicktime video with Will Ferrell and a Nazareth song.

Activating the Anti-X

Regular readers are familiar with our buddy, Racer X. The guy loves to talk about himself, his over-training, his pricey equipment, and the million reasons why his lackluster results are not his fault.

I've been meaning to "Activate" a friend. Because I know he'd rather not be mentioned by name, I'll call him "Anti-X." He's the guy who shows concern for others and only reveals his impressive resume if you ask specific questions like: "What was your time in the Ironman?" Even then, his honest response might be "I'm not sure." And by the way, it was a top-10 finish, but you'd have to look up the results because he would never mention it.

The Anti-X's are in it because they love the feeling of swim-bike-run. They leave the watch at home, don't replace their fork every two months when a lighter version comes out, and possess a childlike exuberance when freed from their otherwise over-achieving careers or studies. Don't mistake enthusiasm for recklessness or unpreparedness. Anti-X's do their homework and have done their research.

Anti-X is old-school work ethic mixed with a pure love for the feeling of movement. Accolades are stored neatly in a shoebox.

For the approach, attitudes, and abilities, I Activate the Anti-X.

Brokeback Mountain II: Amour in Les Alpes

A sequel, already?

Activating Tegla Loroupe

Loroupe, the first African woman to win the New York Marathon, has founded a charity that helps Kenyan cattle rustlers trade guns for running shoes.

What Is Life?

Run world. Run. A nice viral video from Brooks. The cheesy music fits.

"It's Really a Shame to See Him Legless Like That"

This video — it's actually a commercial — is not work safe for cycling fans, not because of offensive content but because you are going to LAUGH OUT LOUD.

Wanna Be in the Lance Movie?

Then submit your story.

We Salute You!

Who wouldn't want an AC/DC "For Those About to Rock" bike jersey? This will plug a gap for me until I can find a Black Sabbath "Heaven and Hell" top. One word: Ronnie James Dio.

Off-Season Race Recap: Marathon Relay

December 4, 2005, Forest Park, St. Louis
More than 100 four-person teams gathered on a cold, early-December Sunday to run the annual marathon relay race in Forest Park. After a 14th place showing in the 2004 event, the squad known as the Outlaws put this one on the calendar well ahead of the early-entry fee deadline. When Ryan went down with a freak injury, slipping on some ice, the team wasted no time signing the ever-willing Brad. After a re-branding retreat, our highly paid PR consultant advised us that a name change was in order. In honor of runner #3 Sami’s stylish copper-colored shorts, the 2005 edition of our relay team was dubbed “The Copper Outlaws.”

With great results leading up to the relay, Doug (aka “Nish”) would be the anchorman and go 4th and 8th as each runner covered the 3.25 mile course two times with a chilly hour of waiting in between. Doug was in good form, but had put in extra work on his transitions after the 2004 snafu, when he was nowhere to be found for his second run, forcing Ryan to run out of order with limited rest. “This year, I was very cognizant of the clock and making sure I was at the tag line. I learned my lesson in 2004,” said Doug, obviously still carrying the scars of that mental breakdown.

I started off the race, getting the advantage of running about 30 yards less than the other guys since the starting line was out in the street and not back by the tag line. I kept a decent pace and got to Brad’s outstretched hand in under 20 minutes and kept going straight into the bathroom. Brad proved to be a worthy replacement, running fairly even splits. “It was hard to know if the guys would accept me as a replacement runner, but they were generous with their support and pleased that I was in the right place at the right time for the tag," said the avid cyclist. "With the name change to Copper Outlaws, I felt like I was part of something new.” Sami showed off the team identity by not only donning the team color, but by doing so in the old school shorts-over-the-tights look. Despite mega-hours at the hospital, he motored around the course, large blue mittens and all. Doug rounded out the first half with a team-best time before we did it all over again.

For the second round, it seemed the temperature dropped and our times went up. As I passed by the team during my second loop, my face was frozen and my attempt at saying “No Copper, No Glory!” came out sounding like Charlie Brown’s teacher on the PA system. My stomach felt much better on my second run and I made it back feeling good about being done for the day. Brad, Sami, and Doug ran strong and transitioned seamlessly, as if we were one continuous Copper Outlaw instead of four. Doug crossed the line for a team time of 2:45.xx. Not as good as 2004, but the conditions were a little tougher. This was good for 13th place.

“That’s what a relay is all about: Being one with your team, knowing when the guy is going to show up, and being able to count to four,” said an unidentifiable voice from a post-race Outlaw huddle.

We had great race support from Elizabeth (aka “the coat rack”) and Paula. The sister-team “She Sharks” got hardware and came strong with banana bread and hot chocolate. Thanks and congratulations!

Activating Kevin for Achieving a Dream

He couldn't run a mile unless an angry bartender was chasing him down the street, but my old friend Kevin in New York City wrote a book on writer Dorothy Parker and it appears to be getting good reviews. From Publishers Weekly: "Less a guidebook than a loving testimonial and guide to a pioneering New York writer, this book will win Parker-and Fitzpatrick-new fans." Back in the day, Kevin once published his own alternative college newspaper. My favorite headline: "Teacher Deserves Brick to the Head."

Spencer Smith Back in the Saddle

One-time champion triathlete Spencer Smith, formerly residing in the "Where are they now?" file, is training for a comeback. His most recent setback was a bike accident last June in which he was T-boned by a car. "The only thing I remember is the engine being so close to me I could hear the whirring sound of the fan belt," he says. "I'm lucky to be alive."

Turf Wars

In suburban Dallas, police are battling a dangerous group of running "gangbangers."

Reason #749 We All Should Be Out Running

Flexy
Originally uploaded by jjactive2.

Activating an Old Proverb About the Last Laugh Being the Most Satisfying Laugh

The St. Louis Cardinals traded left-handed relief pitcher Ray King on December 8. Two days later, 88-year-old Wilma Eckert passed away in Belleville, Ill. Her obituary notes that she once led her softball league in batting and that as "a big Cardinals fan, she was glad to see Ray King traded."

Runner's High

Is there a runner's high triggered by environmental stimuli and biological aspects? For me the answer is yes—no question. One runner's observation:

"I've been running for 25 years or so, and don't know for sure what runner's high is. On almost every run, and certainly the long ones, there are periods of contentment or reflection when one is on automatic pilot and the terrain goes past unnoticed. Runner's high? I don't know."

Trek's Urban Cycle

Trek has launched a cool new line of "city bikes" for the urban professional or student who wants to get around town in style. Trek's product manager immersed himself in the customer experience by defining the urban landscape, measuring the interaction between bikers and the city, and then boiling it all down to create specific profiles of urban bikers. This led to product concepts for real-life bicycles specifically created for city cycling.

Mental Calisthentics

"Articles of note, new books, essays and opinion." Exercise your brain this off-season at Arts & Letters Daily.

Off-Season Race Recap: Alton River Road 10-Miler

November 26 – Alton, Illinois, River Road 10-Miler

Despite the pricy race-day fee, I decided to join friends and return to Alton, Illinois, for the annual 10-miler on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I suspected the ex-girlfriends would be out in full force. Not good or bad, just is what it is. (Only three this year, for the record.)

The running conditions were very good, with a slight wind. The out-and-back course along the river offered the usual headwind on the back half, but that was somewhat offset by encouragement from the runners heading in the opposite direction. I felt surprisingly strong for not having trained seriously, and even beat my time from last year. Over the last few miles I was holding steady and running in small clusters of runners. In the last ¼ mile, I actually dropped the two guys who had been sharing the wind-breaking with me and then launched past two guys who were fading just before the finish. It’s a finish-line tactic that I rarely have the energy or stamina to properly execute, so it gave me a satisfying rush.

Alas, I still was one spot shy of age-group hardware, finishing 47th overall out of nearly 900 runners. Oh well, the plaques were the same as last year, anyway, and it’s always good to see the exes!

What Are You Reading Today?

TV
Originally uploaded by jjactive2.

Toss your TV out the window! All the cool kids are reading (and their parents are advertising in) SwimBikeRun St. Louis – The Magazine. Download PDFs of the award-winning October and November issues and get more info on the breathtaking advertising opportunities here.

Unfiltered Lance

VeloNews has a candid interview with a "relaxed, but still ultra-busy" Lance Armstrong. In Part 1, Lance says he's not worried about the shoddy treatment from L'Equipe or Tour de France officials:

"I've got my seven Tours and they're not taking them away. I've got everything that I ever dreamed of in cycling, plus a million more. I'm at home, I'm happy, I'm healthy, I've got my kids, I've got a full life ahead of me. And if Jean-Marie Leblanc snubs you in Paris? That's a chapter out of "Who f---ing cares."

In Part 2, Lance emphasizes that the cycling world is not as unsavory as some imagine:

"...If in 10 years my son comes to me and says, 'Dad, I want to be a pro cyclist.' If I were that terrified of our sport and thought it was that bad and that unhealthy, and that unethical, I would say, 'Are you crazy? You should be a teacher, a lawyer or a doctor.' But I would never say that. I would put my son straight into a bike race, and that's the strongest statement I can make."

Reason #748 We All Should Be Out Running

Deactivating Ogre-Slaying Outsourcers: The New York Times reports that affluent online gamers who "lack the time and patience to work their way up to the higher levels of gamedom" are paying young Chinese "factory workers" to play the early rounds for them. Something tells me these "affluent gamers" aren't using their resulting free time to train for Ironman.

Brother Brian Race Recap: Chicago-Area Cross Country Challenge

Brother Brian, a 22-year-old college senior in Chicago, submits this race report.

December 4 – 8k Cross Country Challenge, Gilberts, Illinois
See the photos.

The Cross Country Challenge/mud run was quite an experience. It was about an hour drive outside of Chicago on a piece of farmland. There were a couple inches of snow on the ground and the temperature was in the low-20s. After hearing warnings about not to wear pants or much on top (would be colder if everything got wet), I went with race shorts and a long sleeve T-shirt.

After an initial shock, I was actually warm enough for the 8k race...with one exception. I've never had this happen before, but, bluntly enough, not even two miles into the race my penis was in some serious pain and eventually went completely numb. I was almost in tears at the finish line. It took about half an hour with my hands down my pants after the race to regain feeling and then about another five hours, a nap, and a warm shower to ease the tenderness. So, keep this in mind if you ever decide to wear shorts on a bitterly cold morning. And, as it worked out, there was no mud or water this year, so I would have been fine keeping my pants on.

Other than that, the race was fun. (Other than that, how was the play Mrs. Lincoln?-Ed.) We got to the start a minute or two late and didn't even start running until a bit after the start because I didn't see it marked. By the time I got going, I had to play a big game of catch-up. However, the lack of open space on the course (going up and down snowy hills/through narrow bends/under and over fences and trees) didn't exactly allow for this, and in many spots on the course I was forced to walk as people in front of me where either walking or slowly jogging.

My chip said I ended up finishing in about 50 minutes, but I could have done it 8-10 minutes faster if I wasn't trapped in for most of it and actually started running when I crossed the start line. It wasn't until the last mile that it opened up a bit and I was able to maintain a steady pace for the first time.

In the end, despite the cold, we all had lots of fun. We even got a nice Brooks technical long sleeve shirt and a warm, catered post-race lunch in the barn staging area. Before the race, I was so cold that I honestly did not want to have anything to do with it, but I guess the adrenaline took over. Quite a different feeling from the confidence that I felt before the Chicago Marathon two months ago.

The idea of the Cross Country Challenge/European style race is a fun one. If you try one, though, leave the watch and pace band at home, because it seems to be more a matter of survival.

That was a scattered report but, then again, it was a scattered race experience.

Off-Season Race Recap: Chesterfield Turkey Trot

November 24 – Chesterfield, Missouri Turkey Trot 5K
Friends convinced me to join them for this one. It was chilly and windy, but that didn’t stop the masses (almost 2,000 strong) from coming out for some Turkey Day exercise. At the start line I turned to my left to see Colorado triathlete Sunny Gilbert playing with her watch. I made a joke to her about “the organization flying in top triathletes from Colorado to race this one.” She gave a courtesy laugh. Great.

Soon the gun sounded and we headed up the road and tackled the slopes by the mall. The course eventually led back down past the library to the finish. I ended up trading spots with Sunny through most of the race, and we reached the finish together. She told me afterward that she had submitted her request to get her professional triathlon “card.” Good luck, Sunny! Though I won’t ever be turning pro, I was happy with the 5K time, which was slightly faster than I had run earlier in the month and good for about 25th overall.

Armstrong Prepares Courtroom Attack

Enough, says Lance Armstrong, who is preparing to go after those who have accused him of doping. Channeling Phil Liggett: "And so, the first subpoena has been delivered in ANGER!" Outside has a lengthy, i.e, more than I care to read feature article on Lance's legal strategy.

A Four Year Old's Triathlon

KidTri
Originally uploaded by jjactive2.

.05 mile swim
.25 mile bike
.1 mile run

Race Week
Notice Darth Vader jammie bottoms feeling tight in the waist. How quickly we gain it back during taper! Sneak out for Big Wheel cross-training around block. Mommy none the wiser.

Race Eve
Place secret weapon — The Incredibles Dash socks for running faster — in gear bag.

Put Zipp Disc training wheels on bike and say silent prayer for no crosswinds.

Pre-Race
Spin around in circles in transition area until felled by dizziness. Success!

Slip juice bag into Profile Aero Drink Bracket. Note to self: Drop off pack of Starburst for bike shop guys who rigged system.

Prompted for last-minute questions, raise hand and ask race director why fish like water.

Swim
Borrow foot pump from Billy to inflate water wings to maximum pressure. Every edge counts!

Feel temporarily flummoxed when lead swimmer stops to blow bubbles. After determining your bubbles are better, swim over her.

T1
Accidentally leave shorts in restroom after potty break. Flash exasperated look when Mommy points out pants are required.

Negotiation time: “Dad, can I ride without a helmet if I go slow?”

Bike
“Ding!” Ring Batman bell on handlebars to announce start of ride.

Coast through puddle near aid station. Back through puddle. Turn around, go back 10 yards, and build speed to make bigger splash. Frown at wet socks but forge ahead.

Pick up pace on downhill, get aero, and then lay down three-foot skid mark on road. Stop to admire.

Feeling dangerously close to bonking, pull over, grab bag of fruit snacks from fuel belt, and ask spectator to “please open them.” Get slapped with 2:00-minute “time out” by ITU race official for accepting outside assistance. Drop purple fruit snack into mud but, citing "five-second rule," pop it into mouth.

T2
Turn to TJ while racking bike and ask, “Is Red Tornado a good guy or a bad guy? And why does he wear a cape?”

Slide on VELCRO®-fastened Spiderman shoes and wonder if they are on right feet. Time will tell.

Run
Twenty steps into the run, chase down and tag Missy, who has stopped to study ants on road, and exclaim, “You’re it!”

“Is this freeze tag or what?” Missy asks. Too busy poking ants with stick to respond.

Finish
Hobbled by pebble in shoe, sit down 25 yards from finishing chute and begin to cry. Feel tap on shoulder and look up to see Barney. “You finish!” he urges.

Swear to never do this again and then quickly crawl toward the line before that creepy purple dinosaur starts singing.

This story originally appeared in the December issue of SwimBikeRun St. Louis Magazine.

Off-Season Race Recap: St. Louis Area Masters Swim Meet

November 13 – St. Louis Area Masters Swim Meet
My first-ever swim meet. I didn’t know how anything worked but just tried to pay attention and figure out when to swim and how to get to the starting block in time. Luckily, they got me registered and signed up, although I wasn’t pre-registered and didn’t have my license paperwork straight. Once I got authorization, I picked my events; the 400m and 800m freestyle. There were all sorts of swimmers: young and old, fast and medium.

In my 400m heat, I liked the feeling of swimming down the middle of my lane. The two guys on either side were swimming a similar pace over the first 200. One guy moved slightly ahead, the other behind. In the last 50, I closed the gap on the leader, but wasn’t able to catch him, coming in about a body length back. Cool.

Lots of waiting around and then, finally, the 800m. My goggles got unsettled on my entry dive and were a problem for most of the swim. After about 500m, I stopped at the wall to try and fix them. Other than that, it went well. It took me a while to figure out what the numbers that they were holding underwater meant. Aha! The number of lengths completed! I was close or better than my estimated times in both events so, all in all, it was a good experience. Nice folks.

Las Vegas Marathon

LVRJournalPhoto
Originally uploaded by jjactive2.

The revamped Las Vegas Marathon took place Sunday. Several couples got married on the run.

Off-Season Race Recap: Our Little Haven 5K

November 5th – Our Little Haven 5K
After three different, unaffiliated friends emailed to encourage me to support a 5K charity event, I felt I had to do this and that it would be good for me to get going after a month of haphazard exercising since the Hawaii triathlon. The knowledge that I’d see lots of friends and the warm temperatures outside made it even easier to sign up.

The Upper Muny Lot in Forest Park is where we got rolling, mostly downhill. About ½ a mile into the race, Doug was running side by side in the lead behind the pace car. At the first mile, I remember looking at my watch and seeing 5:37. Well, the next two miles were slightly uphill and much slower. It hurt. I managed to stay in the top 10, finishing 9th.

We enjoyed the post-race selection of products: pudding and deodorant. After Doug and Mary picked up their hardware and John and Steve headed out for another 10k, Doug and I decided to bag the scheduled ride as raindrops made the decision all too easy. Ahhh, the off-season.

Deactivating the Associated Press

DeathRow
Originally uploaded by jjactive2.

It would seem this guy had more important things to worry about than "feeling like a number." Alas, he ended up being number 1,000.

Activating Reggie Bush's High School Highlights

Watch the video of Reggie Bush's high school highlights, which is linked from the article. Bush is a star tailback at USC, but apparently he was not bad in high school, either. Sick moves.

Activating the Philadelphia Marathon Joggler

A Harvard Divinity School student juggled three balls continuously while running a 3:07:05 marathon in Philadelphia. Running sans hands presented some challenges for Zach Warren:

“At mile 20, a bug got stuck in my eye, and there’s nothing I could do except blink a lot,” he said. “Around mile 14, I had a gel pack, my hands got sticky, and the balls started sticking to my hand. In a one-mile period, I dropped the balls about a dozen times.”

Buzzing Through the Tucson Marathon

The Tucson Marathon is Sunday, and 28-year-old Marcela Delgado will be counting on a can of Red Bull at the halfway mark to help her get through the 26.2 miles.