Thursday, August 31, 2006
Apparently some athletes are freezing their kids' stem cells — harvested from their newborn's unbilical cord — to use as a repair kit for themselves in case of injuries.
This Country Needs to Go on a Diet
A 10-year study of more than 500,000 U.S. adults shows that those who were just moderately overweight in their fifties were 20 percent to 40 percent more likely to die in the next decade. About two-thirds of Americans are now overweight.
Another study shows that adult obesity rates increased in 31 states over the past year.
There are lots of excuses for not working out and letting our waistlines expand. Forty-year-old Heidi Musser, who is blind, doesn't accept them. Heidi just completed the Accenture Chicago Triathlon. Last year she finished the Coeur d'Alene Ironman in Idaho. Activated.
Another study shows that adult obesity rates increased in 31 states over the past year.
- "What's particularly distressing is that we think we understand why this is happening. It's happening because the environment is built to promote obesity, and it is so pervasive that in order to make changes, we really need to change everything," said Cathy Nonas, director of the obesity and diabetes programs at North General Hospital in New York City.
There are lots of excuses for not working out and letting our waistlines expand. Forty-year-old Heidi Musser, who is blind, doesn't accept them. Heidi just completed the Accenture Chicago Triathlon. Last year she finished the Coeur d'Alene Ironman in Idaho. Activated.
He Said, She Said: Update on the Sports Drink Wars
Friends of Activeness Anonymous Economist and Iron George continue to debate the merits of sports drinks via intelligent back channel emails. We're enjoying the parts of the conversation that we understand, but are not comprehending nearly enough to replay it here. We've definitely read enough good stuff to demand that Activeness' directors take another vote on enabling the "Comments" feature for the blog at our next board meeting in Kona.
Anyway, sometime last night, shortly after they had come to an agreement on whether rapid glycogen replenishment causes insulin insensitivity, things took a bizarre turn for our sports drink combatants when they gave in to their primal urges and decided to elope to Vegas. Last we heard, they had a trunk full of Busch and Gatorade on ice, a tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, it was dark, they were wearing sunglasses, and they were headed west on Highway 66. Good luck, you two!
Anyway, sometime last night, shortly after they had come to an agreement on whether rapid glycogen replenishment causes insulin insensitivity, things took a bizarre turn for our sports drink combatants when they gave in to their primal urges and decided to elope to Vegas. Last we heard, they had a trunk full of Busch and Gatorade on ice, a tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, it was dark, they were wearing sunglasses, and they were headed west on Highway 66. Good luck, you two!
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Email Bag: Sports Drink Post Ignites Virtual Maelstrom

A few days ago FOA Anonymous Economist raised some questions about the benefits of sports drinks. Her comments ignited a virtual maelstrom (Or would it be a firestorm? And what's the difference between a hockey fracas and a melee?) of two excellent email responses to Activeness. Here they are.
By George!
George, a local endurance athlete who just clocked an impressive 11:21:14 at Ironman Lake Placid in August (congrats!) is a graduate student at SIU-Edwardsville in the Exercise Physiology program. He studies carbohydrate metabolism during exercise and therefore says he keeps up-to-date on much of the primary scientific literature. He responds to the Anonymous Economist's comments on sports drinks:
- I think much of what Economist stated served more to jar a reaction rather than provide useful information. But regardless of the intention, I'd like to explain one of the misleading examples provided...the pH of drinks. When you compare pH of solutions (1 vs. 2), it is a logarithmic scale. This means that there is a 10-fold difference from one number to the next. pH of 6 is ten times more acidic than a pH of 7. ph of 1 is 100 times more acidic than 3. So comparing Gatorade to battery acid is just plain silly given the enormous difference that actually exists. Here is the web site she pulled her numbers from. As you can see most of what we drink (in terms of soft drink/sports drink) is in the low 3, upper 2 range. This is very tight on the absolute scale. The only oddball in the group is battery acid. I don't like these scare tactics.
As for recovery... Everything she stated is hardly supported by any scientific literature from the best minds in the field. I only need to direct everyone to the book Nutrient Timing by John Ivy, Ph.D. and Robert Portman, Ph.D. These two gentlemen are among the best in the world in on the subject of nutrition and exercise performance. In their easy-to-read book they cite all the scientific publications validating their statements. So picking at the Economist's statements point-by-point.
* Growth hormone rises only minimally with endurance exercise, and what this does to the body is largely unknown. When exercise stops, there is a transient drop of growth hormone — it doesn't persist after exercise. Growth hormone has not been connected to insulin regulation as supported by the scientific literature.
What is known is that both hormones rise following exercise...growth hormone is involved in bone growth and protein synthesis and insulin helps in glycogen replenishment (carbohydrate storage in the body). This means your body is craving carbohydrates to rebuild the depleted muscles and you are VERY insulin sensitive. Sports drinks are perhaps one of the greatest tools to faciliate this since they both rehydrate and replenish lost glycogen. In fact, many studies have shown that during exercise and following a workout, high GI foods (typically foods/drinks high in sugar) are the best things to have. During exercise blood glucose levels are maintained at a steady level and liver glycogen is spared from usage since outside sources of glucose are available. This prevents the "bonk" effect. During recovery, these foods increase the time to recovery since your body can quickly absorb this and replete lost muscle/liver glycogen.
* Calories do not "go anywhere" as they are units of energy, not tangible molecules. I believe she's saying fat is being deposited at the abdomen. But fat does not localize to one place, it goes everywhere in the body. The reason it appears to build up at the abdomen is that is where the most fast cells reside in humans. Fat cells (except in rare, extreme obese cases) do not multiply, they just get larger.
* "Insulin resistance stimulates aging." So does not dying at the end of the day.
* Triglycerides (TGs): I can't tell if she's claiming that sports drinks have TGs or not, but they don't. I assume she's stating that by drinking sports drink we will have too many carbs around for our body to deal with the extra fat that is around. Metabolism of fats and carbs occur together — there is no pecking order. Sure fat metabolism occurs at a greater rate if no carbs are present, but this is basically the Atkins diet...and we see how well that worked. Your body needs carbs in order to metabolize fat without creating a harmful ketotic-filled environment, which is not healthy. A healthy balanced diet should solve that along with exercise (which sports drinks help facilitate).
* She's right, she hasn't read the right literature.
Finally, I do agree with you in that sports drinks really function to serve the athlete. And for the non-athlete, just like all dietary advice, moderation is key.
The Marshall Plan: Low Sugar
FOA Marshall raises a question about the safety of artificial sweeteners:
- We know most sports drinks are sugary running parallel to sodas. Has anyone researched the safety of heavy consumption of artificially sweetened/no-sugar drinks. Of course the FDA would never let a product go to market unsafe right? (Splenda, Nutrasweet, Sweet 'n Low, et al.) I live off sugar free Kool-Aid, log it on ice on my rides...but can anyone say how much is too much? Not sure what I would drink instead of that good old Tropical Punch or Grape? It's in almost everything low-carb these days, even "lite" lemonades, ice creams, and yogurts....and JPD's Propel.
I defer to new Activeness nutritional consultant George's expertise here, but I do know that the National Cancer Institute says there is no clear evidence that artificial sweeteners are related to cancer risk in humans. Artificial sweeteners are regulated by the U.S. FDA, which also rubber-stamped Vioxx and recently stated that marijuana has no medical value, so their approval doesn't mean a helluva lot to me. But for what it's worth: the FDA has approved aspartame, saccharin, acesulfame-K, neotame, and sucralose as food additives. Seems like I remember reading that if a mouse were to drink 100 Diet Cokes in a day, he would at least get a tummy ache. But don't quote me.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Monday, August 28, 2006
Elvis Presley Liked Racquetball

Funniest thing I heard after the cheesy but necessary tour of Graceland while buzzing through Memphis as quickly as a juiced-up Justin Gatlin running the 100m:
Shuttle bus driver: "Any questions, folks?"
Passenger (in thick Southern drawl): "Ya think he's really dead?"

It's slightly depressing that Elvis was in the 40-44-year-old age group (42) when he (supposedly) died.

One of the first CDs I ever owned. It still works.

The actual Graceland house is bigger than a breadbox but smaller than you might imagine.

Elvis dropped $200K on a racquetball building with a weight room and a bar.

Anagram Elvis.
Sports Drink Nation

More on the sports drink debate: Friend of Activeness (FOA) Anonymous Economist, perhaps moonlighting as Anonymous Scientist, checks in from academia. She writes:
- "Just say 'no' — no matter how many free samples they send you.
The acid content of Gatorade is 2.95. The acid content of battery acid? 1.00. You're drinking battery acid! (Diet coke = 3.39; pure water (neutral)= 7.00.)
If you've got to do it, at least add a tooth brush to your gear bag. (Germs love a low PH (high acid) mouth.)
If that's not enough, a workout stimulates growth hormone, which makes you insulin resistant. As a result, a post-workout sports drink may elevate your blood glucose and diminish your insulin sensitivity - just the opposite of what you want a workout to do. And with insulin resistance, the calories in that drink will go right to your abdomen - just look at the people around you. And insulin resistance stimulates aging.
Your triglycerides may also increase — the body will use the extra glucose rather than fat. Why would you want to shut down the fat burning process after a workout by consuming simple carbohydrates?
Perhaps I just haven't found the right literature, but sports drinks don't make sense to me yet."
I agree that we abuse sports drinks. It's the American way to be hornswaggled by corporate marketing machines and to over-consume everything we can get our fat hands on. Take some newly-arrived visitors from another country to your local Wal-Mart and watch their jaws drop at how overweight Americans are and at the incredible amount of crap we buy in bulk and load into our SUVs. (The chairman of the world's largest architectural firm has much more to say on curbing our obnoxious resource consumption, which he deems "a national crisis.")
Back on point: After about 13 years of experimenting with on-the-go nutrition while trying to be an endurance athlete, I can't imagine not drinking some type of sports drink to provide enough carbs and electrolytes to allow me to keep going for hours at a time. The alternative is for the light switch go off, the muscles to stop working, and to see stars in a light-headed state of bonkness.
I agree that Gatorade's ad and marketing agencies have duped the average Joe and Jane into thinking they need to down a bottle of sports drink after a walk around the block, when really they're adding more calories than they just burned. And plenty of endurance athletes, including myself, take in sports drinks when they're not needed — like after a run, ride, or swim of 60 minutes or less. Or we swig from the ubiquitous bottle in the fridge because we have it on hand instead of soda. (Plus, let's be honest: It's perfect for hangover recovery.) But, yes, the bottles of Gatorade being offered at Quizno's, the gas station, or the airport might as well be soda in terms of health benefits. Lately I've been seeing friends opt for Propel Fitness Water for hydration during or after moderate workouts, and this seems like a good idea — unless you are JPD, bringing a Propel bottle along for a 90-mile ride and then kicking my butt, anyway, after I mocked him for doing it.
As if sensing the Anonymous Economist's skepticism, the New York Times has a story on the importance of energy gels, bars, and sports drinks to endurance athletes. (Thanks for lettting me steal your illustration for this post.) Granted, the story is from the Times' Style section, which always scares me.

And, finally, what if Insidetri.com was to tell you that you probably aren't taking in enough salt during your long workouts? Is that something you'd be interested in?
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Racer X: 100 Best First Lines From Novels (25-27)

Wherein Anonymous Racer X takes the 100 Best First Lines From Novels and turns each one into the opening of a really lame tri-blog post by an infuriatingly self-obsessed triathlete.
Today's installment: Opening Lines 25-27.
Previous installment (22-24).
25. Through the fence, between the curling flower spaces, I could see them hitting.
He may be chock full of sound and fury, I thought, but Benjy clearly is not the brightest bulb in Yoknapatawpha County. After all, how in the world could hitting tennis balls with that wench Caddy possibly improve his swim-to-bike T1 transition times? Fool.
— William Faulkner, The Sound and the Fury (1929)
26. 124 was spiteful.
In addition to being full of a baby's venom, 124 Elm St. was home to a jackass in my age group who had drafted off me illegally for more than half the Steelhead bike course. Screw you, man: I'll show you spite.
— Toni Morrison, Beloved (1987)
27. Somewhere in la Mancha, in a place whose name I do not care to remember, a gentleman lived not long ago, one of those who has a lance and ancient shield on a shelf and keeps a skinny nag and a greyhound for racing.
Whether he was fighting windmills or leading the fast lane at masters swimming, that idealistic S.O.B. Don thought he was El Hombre. Yet to me he was just a big fish in a small, dried-out pond there in la Mancha. For you see, the lava fields in Kona are where all true legends must be made.
— Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote (1605)
How to Get Six Pack Abs

Activeness can't be a real publication without linking to a How to Get Six Pack Abs! article. Just a hunch: the method involves cutting body fat and exercising your ab muscles. Send Activeness $99.99 for the rest of the secrets.
Friday, August 25, 2006
The Straight Dope From PEZ
PEZ interview with Paul Kimmage, an ex-pro cyclist who writes for London's Sunday Times and is vehemently anti-doping. On Floyd Landis: "I knew he was doping before the test results were even released."
Race Report: Fairview Heights Biathlon (4.5M Run, "20"M Bike)
July 16, 2006, Fairview Heights, Illinois
I wanted one last "tuneup" race prior to packing up my bike for shipment to Canada for the Duathlon World Championship. I also needed some redemption, personally, after a subpar result at the tri nationals.
It was very hot but there was a good turnout when I arrived at the park to do race day sign up. I should've arrived earlier because I was still running around before the race while some announcements were being made. I would be racing blind, so to speak, since I didn't know the course or hear any of the pre-race instructions. I don't recommend this approach, especially at a local, non-USAT, volunteer-light, event.
The first 1.5 miles of the run were mostly downhill. About 150 individuals and an estimated 20 or so team runners surged forward behind the lead vehicle. As Caleb G. went to the front as expected, he took the lead car with him into the distance, and I moved forward into second place temporarily, feeling fast on the slightly downhill. Once things leveled off, several runners were on my tail and soon I was looking at theirs as we hit the steep hill. It was a tough run, and I missed the second water stop as the volunteers smartly stayed in the shade on the far side of the turn and I saw them too late. I hit transition in 6th place in the individual race.
The bike went down the steep hill almost immediately. It was bumpy and rattling anything on my bike that wasn't welded together. There were all sorts of orange engineering markings on the road and I rode the brakes fearing I'd miss a turn. After crossing the railroad tracks we were out into the exposed country roads. It had to be close to 90 degrees. I passed three of the faster runners pretty early on, as Bill S. and Brad B. moved past me. Brad was hammering and showing good form and I saw him overtake Bill S. I was riding in 4th-5th as Bill and I traded spots a couple times. He'd catch me on the turns and I'd try to come back on the straights. I didn't know the course and the turn markers were late and sometimes unmanned.
As a team-biker passed me, I could see Brad, Bill, and the lead woman down the road. The slower competitors were riding toward us as the team guy made a confident left turn on what seemed to be an obscure road. I hesitated, but saw an arrow at the last second, cut through the oncoming riders and kept going as I shouted "was that right?" to the guy in front of me. I wasn't sure, but I made the turn and continued on, hoping for a sign or volunteer that I was good and he was right. It seemed that we were far from the park where we started. I was running low on fluids and I hadn't seen a volunteer in a while. Nor did I see the 3 riders that had been ahead of me in site, just before the turn. Something wasn't right. But wait, there's a volunteer directing me. Did I circle back onto the course? Where is everybody?
OK, this is almost 20 miles, and I spotted another racer behind me after a turn. 21 miles, 22 miles, out of water....this can't be right, I'm lost. Hey, there's a volunteer pointing again, here are the railroad tracks, I'm in the park, there's no one ahead of me or behind me. Here's the hill, there's the finish.
I cross the line confused. Three people ahead of me rode off the course, the bike portion was 3.5 miles too long, and suddenly I'm the 2nd place individual finisher. Not exactly how I envisioned "making the podium." To top it off, I was announced as the "overall female winner." With the way my name is spelled, I'm used to this, so I stood on the picnic table and declared my gender. Kristen picked up the the female title, finishing just behind me, 3rd overall.
Though I felt bad for the people who rode off the course, I was glad to get in a good workout, survive the heat, and have my last race before Canada go relatively well: 2nd place overall out of about 145 individual finishers.
I wanted one last "tuneup" race prior to packing up my bike for shipment to Canada for the Duathlon World Championship. I also needed some redemption, personally, after a subpar result at the tri nationals.
It was very hot but there was a good turnout when I arrived at the park to do race day sign up. I should've arrived earlier because I was still running around before the race while some announcements were being made. I would be racing blind, so to speak, since I didn't know the course or hear any of the pre-race instructions. I don't recommend this approach, especially at a local, non-USAT, volunteer-light, event.
The first 1.5 miles of the run were mostly downhill. About 150 individuals and an estimated 20 or so team runners surged forward behind the lead vehicle. As Caleb G. went to the front as expected, he took the lead car with him into the distance, and I moved forward into second place temporarily, feeling fast on the slightly downhill. Once things leveled off, several runners were on my tail and soon I was looking at theirs as we hit the steep hill. It was a tough run, and I missed the second water stop as the volunteers smartly stayed in the shade on the far side of the turn and I saw them too late. I hit transition in 6th place in the individual race.
The bike went down the steep hill almost immediately. It was bumpy and rattling anything on my bike that wasn't welded together. There were all sorts of orange engineering markings on the road and I rode the brakes fearing I'd miss a turn. After crossing the railroad tracks we were out into the exposed country roads. It had to be close to 90 degrees. I passed three of the faster runners pretty early on, as Bill S. and Brad B. moved past me. Brad was hammering and showing good form and I saw him overtake Bill S. I was riding in 4th-5th as Bill and I traded spots a couple times. He'd catch me on the turns and I'd try to come back on the straights. I didn't know the course and the turn markers were late and sometimes unmanned.
As a team-biker passed me, I could see Brad, Bill, and the lead woman down the road. The slower competitors were riding toward us as the team guy made a confident left turn on what seemed to be an obscure road. I hesitated, but saw an arrow at the last second, cut through the oncoming riders and kept going as I shouted "was that right?" to the guy in front of me. I wasn't sure, but I made the turn and continued on, hoping for a sign or volunteer that I was good and he was right. It seemed that we were far from the park where we started. I was running low on fluids and I hadn't seen a volunteer in a while. Nor did I see the 3 riders that had been ahead of me in site, just before the turn. Something wasn't right. But wait, there's a volunteer directing me. Did I circle back onto the course? Where is everybody?
OK, this is almost 20 miles, and I spotted another racer behind me after a turn. 21 miles, 22 miles, out of water....this can't be right, I'm lost. Hey, there's a volunteer pointing again, here are the railroad tracks, I'm in the park, there's no one ahead of me or behind me. Here's the hill, there's the finish.
I cross the line confused. Three people ahead of me rode off the course, the bike portion was 3.5 miles too long, and suddenly I'm the 2nd place individual finisher. Not exactly how I envisioned "making the podium." To top it off, I was announced as the "overall female winner." With the way my name is spelled, I'm used to this, so I stood on the picnic table and declared my gender. Kristen picked up the the female title, finishing just behind me, 3rd overall.
Though I felt bad for the people who rode off the course, I was glad to get in a good workout, survive the heat, and have my last race before Canada go relatively well: 2nd place overall out of about 145 individual finishers.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Celestial Deactivation

Take a walk, Pluto! You have been Deactivated. Men Very Early Made Jars Stand Upright Nicely, Period is not a tough mnemonic to alter. "Period:" Gone! And your orbit around the sun was not exactly something to write home about. Pluto, you will not be missed. (Thnx, FOA Marshall)
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Everything Gatorade

We field a lot of questions here in the Activeness home office on "the history of Gatorade." Not sure why. Gatorade and Accelerade are our most-consumed and enjoyed sports beverages, but our expertise pretty much ends there. (Note: We do appreciate that Accelerade recently laid some free samples on us, and will be publishing a review of its snazzy new flavors soon.)
So for all you inquiring, thirsty minds: Damn it, stop peering into our Activeness world headquarters windows at night — it's kind of freaking me out, man — and check out these links:
The Wikipedia entry on Gatorade has all the history you'd ever want to know. And Gatorade�'s official site is good.
Sports business writer Darren Rovell used to write a Gatorade blog. Why? I have no idea, but All the President's Men taught me one thing: Follow the money.
Thanks to YouTube.com, you can watch the famous Chris Legh Ironman bonk Gatorade ad narrated by Keith Jackson. NHL phenom Sidney Crosby has a Gatorade commercial. Then there's the Michael Jordan classic: Be Like Mike!
Is Gatorade the best choice for endurance events or will your body benefit from the muscle-repairing protein that's in Accelerade? Two new scientific studies contradict each other. What a surprise that one is funded by each company. My own "experiment of one" has been that Accelerade is a good "closer" for a long workout or race: Bring it in in the 8th or 9th inning to shut the door and it will enhance performance and recovery. This TIME.com story explores "the Sports-Drink Wars." Julie the Chicago Tribune blogger also weighs in on the Gatorade vs. Accelerade debate.
Or you could just refuel your electrolytes with Pickle Juice Sport or Cookie Dough Sport.

Thirsty

Replenished
Activating the Hoyts
Thanks to FOA Jamie for passing along a video of a father who truly loves his son.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Activations: Truth Be Told

This also appears in the September issue of SwimBikeRun St. Louis Magazine.
Activation – noun: making active and effective
The truth is good. Always. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it reveals tragedy, brings sadness, or leads to disappointment, but it’s always good. It needs to be known so we can react to reality.
Sometimes we fear truth because it might force us to change and that can be a scary prospect. But we must face it and be strong, no matter how monumentally painful the truth about something may be.
When a diagnosis is confirmed, it can be bad news. But it can’t be avoided and opportunities to cope or reverse conditions are better when dealt with rather than ignored.
Sometimes we avoid the truth in a relationship. We know it’s not working or that we’re unhappy but we’re not sure we can handle the difficulty in revealing and dealing with the truth.
You may be avoiding the truth about your career or co-worker relationships, knowing that they’re dragging you down but not acknowledging your need to fix the problem.
Maybe it’s the truth about an addiction or dependency. Denial is a comfortable place to be. But you don’t want to be a slave to it.
The time trial in the Tour de France often is referred to as the “Race of Truth.” It’s simple. Who can ride alone from here to there the fastest today? No excuses and nowhere to hide. The truth about each rider’s ability is exposed, on display for all to see.
Running, biking, or swimming truths take place every time we train or race. How far or fast can we go today under these conditions? It’s not just that the truth reveals who is the fastest. It provides us with knowledge about whether we’re making progress and meeting our individual goals.
Some put restrictions on themselves, saying, “I can’t” or “I could never do XYZ.” This might be accurate based on current circumstances, but have you tried or are you willing to adjust your goals so that “I can’t” eventually can become “I can”?
This summer I discovered the truth that I can’t compete at the level that I’d like on two hours of swimming per week. I need to taper, and to get more sleep, and might need to reprioritize some things in my life to reach my goals. It feels good to acknowledge these truths so I can try to improve.
Seek the truth — don’t just project what it is. Try going a certain speed or distance, or doing an activity that you are not an expert in. If the truth is you can’t do it, at least you know. That knowledge prepares you to aim for a more realistic goal.
If you say you can’t you’ll never try — and you’ll never really know the truth of what is out there and what you are capable of doing. In the end, the truth is all there is. I suggest you seek it out.
Respect,
JPD
Labels: Activations
Monday, August 21, 2006
The Ice Bath
A BBC reporter tries the Paula Radcliffe ice bath but doesn't last long. "Paula can have her gold medals. I'd rather keep my manhood."
Race Report: Triathlon Age Group National Championship (Olympic Distance)
July 8, 2006, Kansas City, Missouri
What a difference a year makes. I returned to the site of the canceled 2005 National Championship due to extremely bad weather, to compete in the 2006 version of the USAT Age Group Olympic Distance Triathlon National Championship.
The bright sunshine and warm temps welcomed us to Smithville Lake, just north of Kansas City. The transition area was loaded with the finest in cycling machinery, valued in the millions in sum. Zipp wheels were the standard wheelset. The lake temperature was a fraction of a degree above the wetsuit-legal 78 degrees. Most race directors would have rounded down to appease the slower swimmers (like me), but this was the new face of USAT, and I applaud them for sticking to the rules —even though it meant a longer, slower race for me.
I had 40-45 minutes of waiting before my wave was up. I went down the shore to do a swim warmup along with a few others, but we were quickly told to get out. Who invented the megaphone, anyway?
My wave was made up of the 25-29-year-old men and my age group, 10 years their senior. The lake's water level was low. Therefore, we started off by "galloping" awkwardly on the slippery lake bottom until it made sense to start swimming. There was nothing memorable about the swim. Only that when I looked over my shoulder at the first right turn buoy, I saw no one. Not good. I was getting dropped, big time. Heading back to shore, several women from the wave behind me were already passing, having already made up 5 minutes. When I exited the water, my watch gave me the bad news. One of my slowest 1500 meters, if not the slowest, ever. In transition, the harsh reality was confirmed when my bike rack was completely empty except for one guy a few seconds behind me. I think this meant I was in 57th out of 58 in my age group.
As I headed out onto the 25-mile bike course, Brad and Paula gave me some cheers, along with a suggestion of turning directly into the finish line. I wish. The bike course was sunny and rolling. People were flying. I was doing OK, but wasn't one of them. I probably moved up a few places, but wasn't making up much ground as I came into T2. The dismount and transition were smooth and I was finally on the run and saw FOA Mary, then Kristen, both on their way to making Team USA and an invitation to the World Championship in Switzerland (nice job!).
The first four miles or so were on the paved trail which seemed to undulate up, down, left, and right, endlessly. It was warm, and I wasn't running very fast, but I wasn't slowing down, either. All I wanted was to get off the trail and out of the park already! Finally, out on the road and up a hill. Getting closer. Almost there. Hey, that's Joe Friel sitting there. OK, there's the finish, left turn on the gravel and cross the line. Not much in the tank and disappointed in my time, but no mishaps, injuries, and certainly some valuable takeaways from the race:
1) My swimming is not comparable to National Championship caliber triathletes, especially without a wetsuit. Two hours of swimming per week won't cut it for me to compete at this level.
2) Not tapering was probably the wrong approach.
3) If you treat someting like a "C" race, you'll get a "C" level performance/result.
Final results: 52nd out of 58 in the M35-39 Age Group. Not even in the same galaxy as the World Championship invitees. Congrats to FOA training partner Ryan on getting close in the M30-34's and a very impressive performance. Respect.
What a difference a year makes. I returned to the site of the canceled 2005 National Championship due to extremely bad weather, to compete in the 2006 version of the USAT Age Group Olympic Distance Triathlon National Championship.
The bright sunshine and warm temps welcomed us to Smithville Lake, just north of Kansas City. The transition area was loaded with the finest in cycling machinery, valued in the millions in sum. Zipp wheels were the standard wheelset. The lake temperature was a fraction of a degree above the wetsuit-legal 78 degrees. Most race directors would have rounded down to appease the slower swimmers (like me), but this was the new face of USAT, and I applaud them for sticking to the rules —even though it meant a longer, slower race for me.
I had 40-45 minutes of waiting before my wave was up. I went down the shore to do a swim warmup along with a few others, but we were quickly told to get out. Who invented the megaphone, anyway?
My wave was made up of the 25-29-year-old men and my age group, 10 years their senior. The lake's water level was low. Therefore, we started off by "galloping" awkwardly on the slippery lake bottom until it made sense to start swimming. There was nothing memorable about the swim. Only that when I looked over my shoulder at the first right turn buoy, I saw no one. Not good. I was getting dropped, big time. Heading back to shore, several women from the wave behind me were already passing, having already made up 5 minutes. When I exited the water, my watch gave me the bad news. One of my slowest 1500 meters, if not the slowest, ever. In transition, the harsh reality was confirmed when my bike rack was completely empty except for one guy a few seconds behind me. I think this meant I was in 57th out of 58 in my age group.
As I headed out onto the 25-mile bike course, Brad and Paula gave me some cheers, along with a suggestion of turning directly into the finish line. I wish. The bike course was sunny and rolling. People were flying. I was doing OK, but wasn't one of them. I probably moved up a few places, but wasn't making up much ground as I came into T2. The dismount and transition were smooth and I was finally on the run and saw FOA Mary, then Kristen, both on their way to making Team USA and an invitation to the World Championship in Switzerland (nice job!).
The first four miles or so were on the paved trail which seemed to undulate up, down, left, and right, endlessly. It was warm, and I wasn't running very fast, but I wasn't slowing down, either. All I wanted was to get off the trail and out of the park already! Finally, out on the road and up a hill. Getting closer. Almost there. Hey, that's Joe Friel sitting there. OK, there's the finish, left turn on the gravel and cross the line. Not much in the tank and disappointed in my time, but no mishaps, injuries, and certainly some valuable takeaways from the race:
1) My swimming is not comparable to National Championship caliber triathletes, especially without a wetsuit. Two hours of swimming per week won't cut it for me to compete at this level.
2) Not tapering was probably the wrong approach.
3) If you treat someting like a "C" race, you'll get a "C" level performance/result.
Final results: 52nd out of 58 in the M35-39 Age Group. Not even in the same galaxy as the World Championship invitees. Congrats to FOA training partner Ryan on getting close in the M30-34's and a very impressive performance. Respect.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Front Range Mountain High
White Ranch Park Trail Run Report: Golden, Colorado

I had roughly two hours — between 6:00-8:00 AM — to go for a run and get back to the Marriott Courtyard hotel in Golden before the day’s activities started and I was missed. I had flown into Denver the night before for the funeral of my uncle.
I wanted to run before it all began. Being around death motivates me to live, to remind myself that I'm still Six Feet Over. And don't we all feel alive when we're running? Especially on a trail. So when the decision is whether to stay in bed and watch SportsCenter or go explore a new mountain trail, there's no real choice.
Golden, where my uncle had lived for 20 years, is about 15 miles west of downtown Denver, at the edge of the foothills of the Front Range — smaller mountains that serve as training wheels for the rugged, majestic Rockies just to the west. It’s the county seat for Jefferson County, home to Columbine High School and the Coors Brewery.
After waking at 5:00 A.M. Mountain time, a few minutes before my Timex watch alarm sounded, I plugged my laptop in to the hotel’s Internet connection and Googled “golden colorado trail run.” I came up with White Ranch Park, which had 18 miles of trails on 3,000 acres of open land and was only about 10 miles to northwest toward Boulder. Perfect.
I downed a few cups of rancid Folgers hotel-room coffee and stopped at the hotel shop to pick up a package of strawberry Pop-Tarts and two bottles of lemon-lime Gatorade. Next, I pointed my Subaru Outback (the official car of Colorado) rental west on U.S. Route 6, which, according to the woman at the hotel’s front desk, would turn into Highway 93. From there I would turn left on 56th Ave. and cruise right into the park.
The drive was easy as my Outback mingled with lots of other Outbacks, Range Rovers, and Acuras topped by bike racks. I navigated through at least dozen roadies out for their morning rides and saw one cycling team van carrying about a dozen bikes. Shortly after 6:00 A.M., I pulled into the trail head at White Ranch Park's lower parking lot. The red sun was beginning to peek up over the Great Plains to the east. One SUV with an empty bike rack sat in the lot. Early riser. I wondered how many people would be on the trail the next day, a Saturday.

After using the waterless, composting toilet, I studied a trail map posted on the lot and tried to memorize a few of the key names — Belcher Hill, Longhorn, Shorthorn, Maverick, Whippleberry — and understand how they all connected. I knew I wouldn’t get the trail exactly right once I started running and my brain began jiggling, but I hoped to get the lay of the land and a feel for all the trail sections so I could string together a decent 7.5-mile loop without getting lost.
I was starting at about 6,100 feet and would be climbing to the summit at 8,000 feet. I set out at about an 8:00-minute mile pace, but the thin mountain air and elevation gain spiked my heart rate. After several minutes of heavy breathing, I dialed it down and settled into a slightly slower pace that I could maintain without going into cardiac arrest.

As I made my way up through a series of seemingly never-ending switchbacks for about 50 minutes, the mostly single-track, rocky trail traversed a few boulders that I had to stop and climb like stairs. I bumped into several unruffled deer and rabbits and passed through fields of wildflowers, grassy plains, forested foothills, and jagged rock formations that I imagined must date back a billion years. The vistas toward the eastern plains and Denver were amazing, and I convinced myself that I was stopping only to check out the views when I needed to catch my breath. Eventually, an upper-network trail took me across the hill and to the summit.
There, I just stood and stared, spinning 360 degrees to take it all in. Nothing but nature. And what was that beautiful sound? Complete silence and ghosts of the Indian tribes that once lived on and with this land enveloped me. I didn’t want to turn around (ever, really), but my Gatorade bottle was low and I wasn't sure I knew the way back to the Subaru. If I ended up having to backtrack, it would be a long, thirsty morning. Time to head down.

The downhill trail turned out to be straighter and wider, but plenty nasty, with many rocks and log drop-offs. It’s fun to take a Zen-like approach to downhill running — let it rip and look for a safe landing space while you’re hanging in the air after each stride. I felt like Yoda, guided by The Force: “Find an open spot where you won’t break your ankle, you must.”
During the 25-minute run down a steep, mostly exposed slope, I passed two mountain bikers redlining up. I conceded the smooth part of the trail to them, and each nodded at me. From the looks on their faces — they truly were wearing the mask of pain — it didn’t appear they could speak. Wow. It would take some serious stamina and technical skills to haul up and down that trail on a bike.
By the time I reached the trail head (and said a silent prayer that I actually found it), the sun was strong, my Gatorade bottle empty, and my soul refreshed. My uncle wasn't a runner and he wasn't religious, but I'm certain his mountain neighbors must have had some kind of spiritual hold over him.
Later that day, downing bottles of Coors Light with family and friends after an emotional memorial service, I would find out from a local runner that White Range Park is prime mountain lion and bear country. I know mountain lions don’t typically attack people, but at 7 or 8 feet long and 150 pounds, I’ll consider them a predator.
“You were OK as long as you weren’t there at dawn,” said my new Colorado friend.
“Yeah, well… What do you do if you see a mountain lion?”
“Act bigger. Raise your arms.”
“A bear?”
“Slowly back away,” he said.
Now I know there’s more to watch out for on Front Range trails than rattlesnakes, but such is life. I also learned that if you want to avoid mountain lion and bear encounters, it’s best to go out in groups and to make plenty of noise so you don’t surprise them.
The trail run was cool and gave me the best possible start to a long, draining day. I don’t have much trail running experience to compare it with, but I’ll give the degree of difficulty about 6.5 water bottles out of 10. It was challenging enough to make me work but not so tough that I wasn't loving every step. Running a trail this breathtaking may be business as usual for the locals — like Hugh Grant getting tired of Elizabeth Hurley — but it was memorable for a visiting flatlander. One day I’ll go back under better circumstances, happy to be alive and announcing myself to the mountain lions.

I had roughly two hours — between 6:00-8:00 AM — to go for a run and get back to the Marriott Courtyard hotel in Golden before the day’s activities started and I was missed. I had flown into Denver the night before for the funeral of my uncle.
I wanted to run before it all began. Being around death motivates me to live, to remind myself that I'm still Six Feet Over. And don't we all feel alive when we're running? Especially on a trail. So when the decision is whether to stay in bed and watch SportsCenter or go explore a new mountain trail, there's no real choice.
Golden, where my uncle had lived for 20 years, is about 15 miles west of downtown Denver, at the edge of the foothills of the Front Range — smaller mountains that serve as training wheels for the rugged, majestic Rockies just to the west. It’s the county seat for Jefferson County, home to Columbine High School and the Coors Brewery.
After waking at 5:00 A.M. Mountain time, a few minutes before my Timex watch alarm sounded, I plugged my laptop in to the hotel’s Internet connection and Googled “golden colorado trail run.” I came up with White Ranch Park, which had 18 miles of trails on 3,000 acres of open land and was only about 10 miles to northwest toward Boulder. Perfect.
I downed a few cups of rancid Folgers hotel-room coffee and stopped at the hotel shop to pick up a package of strawberry Pop-Tarts and two bottles of lemon-lime Gatorade. Next, I pointed my Subaru Outback (the official car of Colorado) rental west on U.S. Route 6, which, according to the woman at the hotel’s front desk, would turn into Highway 93. From there I would turn left on 56th Ave. and cruise right into the park.
The drive was easy as my Outback mingled with lots of other Outbacks, Range Rovers, and Acuras topped by bike racks. I navigated through at least dozen roadies out for their morning rides and saw one cycling team van carrying about a dozen bikes. Shortly after 6:00 A.M., I pulled into the trail head at White Ranch Park's lower parking lot. The red sun was beginning to peek up over the Great Plains to the east. One SUV with an empty bike rack sat in the lot. Early riser. I wondered how many people would be on the trail the next day, a Saturday.

After using the waterless, composting toilet, I studied a trail map posted on the lot and tried to memorize a few of the key names — Belcher Hill, Longhorn, Shorthorn, Maverick, Whippleberry — and understand how they all connected. I knew I wouldn’t get the trail exactly right once I started running and my brain began jiggling, but I hoped to get the lay of the land and a feel for all the trail sections so I could string together a decent 7.5-mile loop without getting lost.
I was starting at about 6,100 feet and would be climbing to the summit at 8,000 feet. I set out at about an 8:00-minute mile pace, but the thin mountain air and elevation gain spiked my heart rate. After several minutes of heavy breathing, I dialed it down and settled into a slightly slower pace that I could maintain without going into cardiac arrest.

As I made my way up through a series of seemingly never-ending switchbacks for about 50 minutes, the mostly single-track, rocky trail traversed a few boulders that I had to stop and climb like stairs. I bumped into several unruffled deer and rabbits and passed through fields of wildflowers, grassy plains, forested foothills, and jagged rock formations that I imagined must date back a billion years. The vistas toward the eastern plains and Denver were amazing, and I convinced myself that I was stopping only to check out the views when I needed to catch my breath. Eventually, an upper-network trail took me across the hill and to the summit.
There, I just stood and stared, spinning 360 degrees to take it all in. Nothing but nature. And what was that beautiful sound? Complete silence and ghosts of the Indian tribes that once lived on and with this land enveloped me. I didn’t want to turn around (ever, really), but my Gatorade bottle was low and I wasn't sure I knew the way back to the Subaru. If I ended up having to backtrack, it would be a long, thirsty morning. Time to head down.

The downhill trail turned out to be straighter and wider, but plenty nasty, with many rocks and log drop-offs. It’s fun to take a Zen-like approach to downhill running — let it rip and look for a safe landing space while you’re hanging in the air after each stride. I felt like Yoda, guided by The Force: “Find an open spot where you won’t break your ankle, you must.”
During the 25-minute run down a steep, mostly exposed slope, I passed two mountain bikers redlining up. I conceded the smooth part of the trail to them, and each nodded at me. From the looks on their faces — they truly were wearing the mask of pain — it didn’t appear they could speak. Wow. It would take some serious stamina and technical skills to haul up and down that trail on a bike.
By the time I reached the trail head (and said a silent prayer that I actually found it), the sun was strong, my Gatorade bottle empty, and my soul refreshed. My uncle wasn't a runner and he wasn't religious, but I'm certain his mountain neighbors must have had some kind of spiritual hold over him.
Later that day, downing bottles of Coors Light with family and friends after an emotional memorial service, I would find out from a local runner that White Range Park is prime mountain lion and bear country. I know mountain lions don’t typically attack people, but at 7 or 8 feet long and 150 pounds, I’ll consider them a predator.
“You were OK as long as you weren’t there at dawn,” said my new Colorado friend.
“Yeah, well… What do you do if you see a mountain lion?”
“Act bigger. Raise your arms.”
“A bear?”
“Slowly back away,” he said.
Now I know there’s more to watch out for on Front Range trails than rattlesnakes, but such is life. I also learned that if you want to avoid mountain lion and bear encounters, it’s best to go out in groups and to make plenty of noise so you don’t surprise them.
The trail run was cool and gave me the best possible start to a long, draining day. I don’t have much trail running experience to compare it with, but I’ll give the degree of difficulty about 6.5 water bottles out of 10. It was challenging enough to make me work but not so tough that I wasn't loving every step. Running a trail this breathtaking may be business as usual for the locals — like Hugh Grant getting tired of Elizabeth Hurley — but it was memorable for a visiting flatlander. One day I’ll go back under better circumstances, happy to be alive and announcing myself to the mountain lions.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
50 Marathons in 50 Days
Sam Thompson, 25, is running 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 consecutive days. On schedule to finish August 19, Sam says he's doing it to remind the country there is still work to be done on the ravaged Gulf Coast.
"Dean, Dean the PR Machine" Karnazes begins his own 50 in 50 quest in Missouri on September 17 and will finish in New York on November 5. Here's his blog, in which he describes running the Atlanta Marathon with Sam.
"Dean, Dean the PR Machine" Karnazes begins his own 50 in 50 quest in Missouri on September 17 and will finish in New York on November 5. Here's his blog, in which he describes running the Atlanta Marathon with Sam.
McDonald's Is Charter Member of Deactivation Hall of Fame

In a perfect marriage made in U.S. Consumer Excess Heaven, McDonald's is giving away eight different toy Hummers with their already toxic, addictive Happy Meals. This at a time when more Americans are beginning to understand the high price of our addiction to oil. The Sierra Club's Brendan Bell says Hummers in Happy Meals are about as responsible as "dipping a Big Mac in the fry oil and serving it to your kids." Bill Lamar, chief marketing officer of McDonald's, said the promotion simply was intended to bring "the fun and excitement of Hummer vehicles" to the chain's "youngest guests." Oh, well when you put it that way...I think your company is creepier than ever.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Bill Maher: Juice or Die

The new "hey, we're just trying to sell magazines" Rolling Stone with the permanently Deactivated Christina Aguilera on the cover also has a feature story on politically-minded comedian Bill Maher. The legendary toker has become obsessive about his health and diet, writes Mark Binelli.
- Maher, in the kitchen, begins washing fruits and vegetables — spinach, ginger, beets, carrots, celery, an apple — for his daily juicing. "It's not a cheeseburger," he says as he loads the produce into an industrial-size juicer. "But it doesn't taste that bad. I always tell people who refuse to even try it, 'Well, OK, then die.' If I ever write a diet book, that's going to be the title: Then Die."
Maher sips his juice directly from a large metal receptacle that could be used to mix a milkshake. "You know, in this country, they make zillions selling you poisoned food and zillions more selling the antidote in the pharmacy."
Friday, August 11, 2006
Want to Move to Boulder?
It may be America's favorite outdoor mecca but be careful what you wish for, writes Outside Magazine's Marc Peruzzi.
- "Recreating outdoors is the norm here, and it's in your face. There's always some horse-toothed mountain-town equivalent of Laird Hamilton ready to kick your athletic pride through the dirt. Remember the 2005 Tour, when T-Mobile kept attacking Discovery, trying to break Lance? That's what a casual bike ride is like in Boulder. Strangers attack. Old guys with gray beards and steel bikes attack. Reach for a shot of Gu and even your friends attack. And women: Women always attack--they're the worst."
Peter Reid's Exit Interview
At 37, three-time Ironman world champion Peter Reid says he has retired from triathlon and isn't looking back. "When I make decisions, it is definitely all or nothing, completely in or completely out. I am not wishy-washy about anything." Inside Triathlon interview.
Self-Transcendence Race
German Madhupran Wolfgang Schwerk won the world's longest footrace. The 3,100-mile race is run on a half-mile course on the sidewalks around a high school and park in Jamaica, Queens, New York. And friends once said I was crazy for running 23 miles on a 1.25-mile park course on a Wednesday night.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Email Bag: Landis Could Be Like the Martini Ad

Reader "E" from England passes on this note:
- I have been following the story about Floyd Landis having testosterone in his system. 3 years ago my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer and when I looked into the causes of this disease one thing stood out is the majority of men who get this disease have high testosterone levels. Looking back to when my husband was younger he was like the martini advert — anywhere, anyplace, anytime. Maybe Floyd would be advised to have a PSA test to see what his levels are. Prostate cancer can strike any age and if he is a borderline case this would explain the reading. Please pass this email on to him. You never know it might just save his life.
Walking in Memphis

I always try to explore cities I've never been to by taking a long walk or run around the downtown on my first day there. So it was that a couple of Sunday mornings ago at 7:00 AM I slipped out of my hotel room without waking the family to grab some coffee and go walking in Memphis.
I wish, like Marc Cohn's song, that my feet could have been 10 feet off of Beale, because then the few people who were roaming the streets at that early hour wouldn't have been able to hit me up for money. It was a sad, unsettling experience.

Despite seeing several signs discouraging people to give money to the homeless, I handed out a few dollars. It felt like paying a toll.

Five seconds after I took this picture, a decked-out roadie cruised his bike through the fountains to cool off. It would have been a gorgeous photo but you'll have to use your imagination. Another near miss. "Wide Right" might be the title of my autobiography.

You can just feel the jazz and blues hanging in the air on Beale Street. Seems like it would be cool to spend a night wandering from bar to bar and soaking it all in.

This blues band's favorite song seemed to be, "Put a Dollar in Our Damn Bucket."

Home of the Memphis Redbirds by night and lots of guys who wanted money from me by day.

Parking might be the most fun you can have on a Sunday morning in Memphis. From what I could see, very few people were venturing outside. They all seemed to be gathering for breakfast in their hotel lobbies. I saw no coffee shops or diners open downtown.
Memphis seems to be trying — there are lots of new developments ranging from stadiums to art galleries — but the city still has work to do. Honestly, it was a good feeling to have a full tank of gas and Memphis in my rearview mirror. But not before a stop at Graceland...
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Racer X: My New Treadmill Workout
Coach Roch wants me to try this new treadmill workout. Says it's better than plyometrics. So far The Tsunami is in, but I still need two other people before we can rock.
Monday, August 07, 2006
Kastor Looks for Edge on New York Streets
Three months before the race, American record holder Deena Kastor already is scouting the New York City Marathon course, reports the New York Times. "She runs 120 to 140 miles a week, running twice a day every day except Sunday, when she does one long run of 20 to 24 miles. She never takes a day off."
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Landis's Walk on the Wild Side
One observation kicked around our group, when not sucking air, during today's ride: Seems like very few Tour riders are speaking out against the fact that Floyd Landis appears to have cheated them. It's quiet. Too quiet. You'd think they would be angry...unless.
"And the peleton goes doo do doo do doo do do doo..."
Observation #2: All I know about farming I've learned from watching Field of Dreams seven times—I can't turn off that movie—but it appears many of the poor farmers in southwestern Illinois are losing their corn even without building ballfields. We rode through thousands of acres of scorched, dried-out corn that just a few weeks was green and healthy. I feel for them. Heat and drought: Deactivated.
Observation #3: Watching Diesel blow by a 10-foot-wide farm tractor moseying along a 12-foot-wide country road made all the day's pain worthwhile — at least for a few seconds. Then I realized we had to follow him past.
Observation #4: It was good that JPD's jersey pockets were big. After reassembling his bike, which was just shipped back from the duathlon champsionships in Newfoundland, he lost a few pieces along the way. Who knew you could stuff a bike seat and aerobars into a jersey?
Observation #5: Diesel actually will sit up and slow down for a few seconds, but only if a horsefly gets trapped in his jersey.
"And the peleton goes doo do doo do doo do do doo..."
Observation #2: All I know about farming I've learned from watching Field of Dreams seven times—I can't turn off that movie—but it appears many of the poor farmers in southwestern Illinois are losing their corn even without building ballfields. We rode through thousands of acres of scorched, dried-out corn that just a few weeks was green and healthy. I feel for them. Heat and drought: Deactivated.
Observation #3: Watching Diesel blow by a 10-foot-wide farm tractor moseying along a 12-foot-wide country road made all the day's pain worthwhile — at least for a few seconds. Then I realized we had to follow him past.
Observation #4: It was good that JPD's jersey pockets were big. After reassembling his bike, which was just shipped back from the duathlon champsionships in Newfoundland, he lost a few pieces along the way. Who knew you could stuff a bike seat and aerobars into a jersey?
Observation #5: Diesel actually will sit up and slow down for a few seconds, but only if a horsefly gets trapped in his jersey.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Dope
Floyd Landis's second sample confirmed the original finding. Phonak has dropped him and it's likely he'll lose his TdF title and be banned from the sport for two years. I have no more interest in this story.
Friday, August 04, 2006
You Should See My Clif Bar Bill
"That's a lot of Gatorade, man," said the Target cashier after gazing into my cart filled with $70 worth of Lemonade, Grape, and classic Lemon Lime bottles.
"Hydration is something I take very seriously," I replied, aiming a steely glare at the high school kid. "Do you have a problem with that? Do you even know what electrolytes are and how it feels to be depleted?"
"Not really."
I hope I didn't come down too hard on the dude but, hey, education is a precondition for surviving in this world. One day he'll realize I did him a favor.
"Hydration is something I take very seriously," I replied, aiming a steely glare at the high school kid. "Do you have a problem with that? Do you even know what electrolytes are and how it feels to be depleted?"
"Not really."
I hope I didn't come down too hard on the dude but, hey, education is a precondition for surviving in this world. One day he'll realize I did him a favor.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Dehydration Is Latest Bogus Excuse for Landis' Elevated Testosterone Levels

Wow. He must be the first athlete ever to get dehydrated in an endurance event. Now I'm waiting for the "Mennonites are just really horny" defense.
The Bicycling Paradox?
Friend of Activeness (FOA) Ryan ventures into FOA Anonymous Economist territory by sending a link to a New York Times article on a provocative theory put forth by a professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. Karl T. Ulrich's paper argues that traveling by bicycle may cause more environmental harm than driving around in pollution-spewing, fossil-fuel-swallowing cars and SUVs. Why? Because healthy bicyclists (if they can avoid being run down by cars) live longer and will consume more energy than they save over their lifetimes.
Of course there are huge holes in the argument of Ulrich, who is a cyclist himself. And there are similar theories about nonsmokers living longer and thus placing a greater strain on the health care system. Let them smoke and die sooner!
Anyway, here's a blog tracing the arguments and counterarguments of the environmental bicycling paradox.
Click here to download a PDF of the paper.
Of course there are huge holes in the argument of Ulrich, who is a cyclist himself. And there are similar theories about nonsmokers living longer and thus placing a greater strain on the health care system. Let them smoke and die sooner!
Anyway, here's a blog tracing the arguments and counterarguments of the environmental bicycling paradox.
Click here to download a PDF of the paper.
If Child Star Gary Coleman Messes With You, Just Smash a Guitar Over His Head
For laughing at this: Self, you have been Deactivated.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Racer X: 100 Best First Lines From Novels (22-24)

Wherein Anonymous Racer X takes the 100 Best First Lines From Novels and turns each one into the opening of a really lame tri-blog post by an infuriatingly self-obsessed triathlete.
Today's installment: Opening Lines 22-24.
Previous installment (19-21).
22. It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the house-tops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
Still, with Ironman Amazon Rainforest just four months out, Coach Roch had me scheduled for a 45-mile tempo ride for that night. What could I do but cut down on wind resistance by jettisoning my HED 900 Disc wheels and just jam through the wind, rain, crazy London cabs, and darkness? In circumstances like that I always rely on my WWFASD (What Would Faris Al-Sultan Do?) credo. Faris definitely would have ridden—all the way to Kona, dude.
—Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)
23. One summer afternoon Mrs. Oedipa Maas came home from a Tupperware party whose hostess had put perhaps too much kirsch in the fondue to find that she, Oedipa, had been named executor, or she supposed executrix, of the estate of one Pierce Inverarity, a California real estate mogul who had once lost two million dollars in his spare time but still had assets numerous and tangled enough to make the job of sorting it all out more than honorary.
I wonder if Oedipa will see any of that jack from poor old Pierce's fortunes and whether she will share it with her buff new boyfriend, thought Racer X, thankful that the unfortunately-named Oedipa had not found about his regrettable incident with Aimee in the whirlpool after Masters swimming and already picturing the purchase of a new Endless Pool and hyperbaric chamber. Rock on, Oedipa. Like the great Billy Squier sang, you are my kinda lover: "Rock me, sock me, baby you got me ridin' to the end. Rake me, shake me, baby you make me--turn me on again."
—Thomas Pynchon, The Crying of Lot 49 (1966)
24. It was a wrong number that started it, the telephone ringing three times in the dead of night, and the voice on the other end asking for someone he was not.
As Racer X struggled to recover from the annoyance of being awakened at 3:00 AM just two nights before his 18-mile Sunday run, he wondered if he was descending into madness or if that that bastard on the other end of that wrong number had just mocked his Oly distance PR. One look inside my trophy room and that guy would have no choice but to respect me, pondered X. But damn, man, since I don't know him how can I ever make that happen?
—Paul Auster, City of Glass (1985)
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Letterman's Top 10 Floyd Landis Excuses
10. "High altitude in the Alps made daddy dizzy"
9. "Who can resist Balco's delicious 'spicy chipotle' flavor
8. "I was trying to impress Sheryl Crow"
7. "Uh...global warming?"
6. "The world hates Americans already, so does this really matter?"
5. "French bastards must have dosed my quiche"
4. "Wanted to give 'New York Post' excuse to run hilarious 'Fink Floyd' headline"
3. "Hulk no need excuse"
2. "Frankly, I'd rather be a disgrace than a loser"
1. "Screw you - - I'm Floyd ***damn Landis"
9. "Who can resist Balco's delicious 'spicy chipotle' flavor
8. "I was trying to impress Sheryl Crow"
7. "Uh...global warming?"
6. "The world hates Americans already, so does this really matter?"
5. "French bastards must have dosed my quiche"
4. "Wanted to give 'New York Post' excuse to run hilarious 'Fink Floyd' headline"
3. "Hulk no need excuse"
2. "Frankly, I'd rather be a disgrace than a loser"
1. "Screw you - - I'm Floyd ***damn Landis"
"I Live Strong by Eating Pie"

Lance Armstrong takes some time off from riding Iowa's RAGRBRAI tour, which I'd like to try one of these years. Who needs extra testosterone when you have coconut cream pie?
Mailbag: Jake and Matthew Biking Again!

FOA Susy Q. sends us a link showing Jake and Matthew biking again.
- To take my mind off this Landis thing, I resorted to ogling Hollywood celebs and their biking gear. OK, literally, the gear, get your collective minds out of the gutter. I noticed that upon return from the Tour, Jake G. has a Livestrong Edition Trek bike and a complete Nike cycling wardrobe, and brought back matchie-matchies for Matthew M! In the old pix Jake has a blue Cannondale and some ugly pink or red gear. He even has 2 Team Discovery water bottles in his cages!! What a groupie. Yeah like I wouldn't put the pressure on Lance for some freebies.
Sigh... I imagine Anonymous Racer X looks like a masterful mix of Jake and Matthew...Sigh...
Faithful reader Susy Q.





