Activating Fat Cyclist

Fat Cyclist, where have you been all these years? Now that I've found you, let's never part. Smart, funny writing — Fatty's got game. (And suddenly I'm thirsty for a Fat Tire.)

Meanwhile, trash picker-uppers who dropped Bud Light bottles out of my recycling bin and left all the shattered glass on the street exactly in front of my driveway as if waiting for me to ride my bike through them on my way home today — it worked. If it weren't for my superhuman vision and cat-like reflexes, I'd have two flats. You have been Deactivated.