X: Club Calves

I'm heading out to the clubs to tie one on tonight, as all my training partners have family commitments on Easter. Our weekly Sunday morning "Pagan Run" thus has been cancelled. My body truly is my temple, but once in a while I feel a need to break some of my temple's windows with some Jack and Diet Cokes. My only wish is that the girls in the clubs tonight would have their ages clearly marked on their calves with Sharpies. It's an idea I've always thought would transfer well from the triathlon world. A valuable addition I would make for the club calf marking would be status: "M" for married; "S" for single; and "?" for anything goes. I'll bring a Sharpie in case I meet some babes who seem like trendsetters. - Racer X