Anonymous Racer X: Resolution and Conflict

When I make a New Year's Resolution I keep it. That supreme dedication and iron will, along with my canary yellow Land Rover and matching I-dot tattoo, has become an X-Man trademark.

In 2008 I resolved not to take the elevator to or from my 11th floor office at the Globo-Corp headquarters tower for an entire year. Desirii's detailed calculations showed that taking the stairs every trip would help me burn enough calories to drop 2.8 lbs. by 2009. Dude, I paid north of $6K to shave that much weight off my new titanium Serotta frame.

Yesterday when I was walking into the building from teaching three back-to-back-to-back lunchtime spin classes, Robert from HR asked me how my 2008 race season was shaping up. To give him the proper context for this year, of course I first had to go back to my DNF at Wildflower in 1999 and take him through my DNS due to gout at Kona last fall. As I was explaining to Robert the magical feeling of the lava fields along the Queen K Highway and gently pointing out that he will never know how it feels, I stepped onto the elevator and the doors closed.

"Nooooo!" I screamed, as the elevator began to ascend and I realized my 2008 resolution had just gone up (literally) in smoke.

Robert couldn't have expected the swift, hard kidney punch that he received, but he couldn't prove it, either, because it left no marks and there were no witnesses. I can only hope that in the future he'll be more discreet with his questions.

Later,
Racer X