If "Bicycling Is the New Golf..."

If "bicycling is the new golf," as the New York Times Style section tells us, then I'm ditching my Softride and taking up extreme ski-parachuting. Today.

Yeah, and workout dehydration is the new dinner party hangover. Accelerade is the new single malt Scotch. Timex is the new Rolex. Barfing from kicking it home to the finish line is the new bulimia. Jessi is the new Paris. Lukewarm water from a farmhouse hose is the new Perrier. Lycra is the new Louis Vuitton. GU is the new caviar. Ironman is the new Club Med. The race campground is the new Ritz. A 10K PR is the new par. Bullshit is the new sincerity. Switching training partners is the new affair. Titanium is the new fur. Bloody nipples are the new nipple rings. A tri jersey is the new sweater vest. A trunk full of Gatorade is the new wine cellar. Nike is the new Nike. Slow is the new fast. Deactivated is the new Activated. The New York Times Style section is the new bird cage liner. Novice cyclists who drop $20K on two new custom-made road bikes and say "they become like pets" are the new ...?

Later,
Racer X
(Thanks SoozeyQ)