Syrup Swimming (Deserves a Quiet Night)

Perhaps sensing the winter apathy seeping into the Activeness headquarters building, long-time reader Anonymous Economist — who disputes our hypothesis that Adam Smith would’ve kicked Karl Marx’s butt in a long-course triathlon yet remains one of our favorite sporadic contributors despite being far too bright to hang around here — points us to this Nature.com story asserting that swimming in syrup is as easy as water:

"It's a question that has taxed generations of the finest minds in physics: do humans swim slower in syrup than in water? And since you ask, the answer's no. Scientists have filled a swimming pool with a syrupy mixture and proved it. … Speed depends not on what you swim in, but on what shape you are. Once the effects on thrust and friction have been cancelled out, the predominant force that remains is 'form drag'. This is due to the frontal area presented by a body - try running with a large newspaper held in front of you and see how much more difficult it is. … So the perfect swimmer, whether in water or syrup, has powerful muscles but a narrow frontal profile. 'The best swimmer should have the body of a snake and the arms of a gorilla.’”

I'll bring the waffles.