You Should See My Clif Bar Bill

"That's a lot of Gatorade, man," said the Target cashier after gazing into my cart filled with $70 worth of Lemonade, Grape, and classic Lemon Lime bottles.

"Hydration is something I take very seriously," I replied, aiming a steely glare at the high school kid. "Do you have a problem with that? Do you even know what electrolytes are and how it feels to be depleted?"

"Not really."

I hope I didn't come down too hard on the dude but, hey, education is a precondition for surviving in this world. One day he'll realize I did him a favor.