Racer X: 100 Best First Lines From Novels (13-15)

Wherein Anonymous Racer X takes the 100 Best First Lines From Novels and turns each one into the opening of a really lame tri-blog post by an infuriatingly self-obsessed triathlete.

Today's installment: Opening Lines 13-15.
Previous installment (10-12).

13. Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything truly wrong, he was arrested.
Some say Josef K. blew too many stop signs on his bike, leaving the authorities no choice. Others simply believe his position as the handsy personal trainer of the local constable’s wife had even more to do with his mysterious legal troubles.
—Franz Kafka, The Trial (1925)

14. You are about to begin reading Italo Calvino's new novel, If on a winter's night a traveler.
Italo Calvino can go first person on you because Italo Calvino once broke 10 hours at Ironman France. Italo Calvino composes entire novels in his head while biking through the Italian countryside. Italo Calvino doesn’t like winter nights because he gets bored with his Computrainer.
—Italo Calvino, If on a winter's night a traveler (1979)

15. The sun shone, having no alternative, on the nothing new.
But with the sun shining so brightly there actually could be something new—skin cancer—if he forgot to apply his sunscreen liberally before his long ride, realized Murphy.
—Samuel Beckett, Murphy (1938)