Dog Eat Dog

A four-year-old golden retriever named Jake finished 72nd overall among 500 competitors in a 1.2-mile Alcatraz Invitational swim from the prison island to the San Francisco shoreline."It was colder and rougher than we thought it would be," said Jeff Pokonosky, Jake's owner and swim partner. "Jake amazed me. He was very focused. He started out really fast. I was trying to slow him down. He increased his pace to stay with the pack."

Activeness! believes braving that swim together is a truly awesome accomplishment for owner and dog alike; it's one I have no desire to try. We also were able to take a look at Jake’s dramatic triathlon blog before his owner, Jeff, apparently jealous over the pooch’s success, pulled the plug on the dog blog. Excerpts:

"I can’t believe Master fed me scrambled eggs before a 1.2-mile swim. That dairy wreaks havoc on my digestive system. He claims he is my best friend but combine this garbage he’s feeding me with the fact that he refuses to let me wear goggles, and I’m beginning to believe he wants to see me fail. Best friend my hindquarters!

"As I prepared to dive into the murky waters of the San Francisco Bay, with its rising and falling waves—indeed a metaphor for life—thoughts raced through my mind. Should I be scared or excited? If I’m calm, why is my tail wagging so intensely? Is my collar too tight or am I choking from the anticipation of testing myself in this epic battle of dog versus water? Why can’t they make wetsuits for dogs? As I found my swim rhythm and took aim on the shoreline, AC/DC song lyrics popped into my head:

'Hey, hey, hey
Every dog has his day
It’s a dog eat dog
Dog eat dog
Dog eat dog
Read the news
Someone win
Someone lose
Up’s above and down’s below
And limbo’s in between
Up you win, down you lose
It’s anybody’s game'

"Clearly Angus Young was a poet...even a shaman. Anyway, 41 minutes later--about 287 minutes in dog time--I had placed four feet on solid ground and was shaking the salt water off my coat. Though I tried to stay humble, I couldn’t help being proud. Eddie the Jack Russell Terrier from Frasier: Where are you now? Why don't you put down the latte and swim a few laps? And let’s see Taco Bell's talking Chihuahua do this! Yo quiero a harder race. Woof!”