X: Sleeping High

For the past few weeks I have been sleeping in the Vitaeris 320, a slightly used hyperbaric chamber that I snatched up on eBay to boost my red blood cell count. Some friends and family members have questioned this purchase, as it cost more than most of their cars. To that I respond: What price do you place on being a champion? How else can a sea-level triathlete compete with those "alties" who swoop in from mountain cities like Boulder and New Mexico and practically steal our age group hardware? And it's not like I'm using EPO anymore, so you all can just stop acting so off the hook.

Anyway, when I got home from my century ride this afternoon, I barely had time to wipe down Bernice (my Softride) and grab a protein and whey key lime recovery smoothie when I noticed my roommate's nieces using the chamber as a fort! That is extremely bogus, girls. Who's going to buck up when you break a valve or bust the seal? Also--don't even try to blame your dizziness on me. - Racer X